Tuesday, May 19, 2009


What a roller coaster ride. I probably went through every emotion possible on today's run.
Happy: My husband came with me on my run/walk. He was very active in his younger days. Cross country, track, swimming...he even did a Triathlon Sprint when he was 40. That was ten years ago and he smokes. So I was glad to see him walk with me.

Thirsty: Dab nabbit if I didn't bring a bottle of water. Thank goodness it was only 85 degrees outside. Well, thirsty is not an emotion. But it overwhelmed my thoughts. "Is my throat closing up? Can you die from lack of water? Am I going to die of lack of water? Let me try gulping. I can't. Is that a sign of dying?"

Disappointed: I felt like my running intervals were slow and on my 5th and 6th one I was so tuckered out that I quit about 5-10 seconds earlier than I should have.

More disappointment: I heard my husband's voice in my head telling me I need to go faster, pick up my legs higher...come on. Now he wasn't saying this in real life. This was me and what I really felt about myself, and well I just put the blame on him. But I realized it and tried to focus on the run and how this Fluffy gal is doing it. (I had this moment in my 3rd run interval).

Crying/Shattered: I pooped out on my last run and I couldn't catch my breath. My legs hurt and I was far from home. Embarrassed because I just noticed this guy sitting in this truck, eating his lunch and he probably saw me die on my last interval and probably thought I was going to fall over from exhaustion because I was breathing so hard.

Tired: I just wanted to make it home (5 minutes away). Just let Robert Ullrey tell me it was over so that I can just quit.

As I walked through the neighborhood, I began to get my strength back. Robert had said good-bye and Brittney was playing. I felt enough energy to walk fast through the neighborhood. I was going at a good pace and I was trying to make up for pooping out before. I round the corner to my street and the Navy Hurrah starts up in a marching song and I feel it and I do it and I feel good.

Pride: As I click the center button of my Nano I hear Tiger Woods, "Congratulations, you just recorded your best mile ever." Who knew? In the midst of me feeling like a failure I exceeded my own expectations.

Never quit and don't listen to the lies we can often tell ourselves. You can do this. I can do this. Fluffy can do this.

My Stats:
Distance: 3.23 km
Duration: 36'18"
Pace: 11'13"/km
Calories: 342.0
Average Heart Rate: Unknown (HRM broken)

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