Today was W2D3 of my training for my 60 miler. I was suppose to do 5 miles at a moderate walking pace but I had to cut it short by one mile because I had to take my daughter to SWAT. But I am surprised I even got up at all.
At 6am, I hit the snooze button and thought about going back to sleep. But Alex is in the gulf and they sky looks grey so I need to check my email to see if swim practice has been canceled for 7am. While looking at my emails, I see I have a notification from CaringBridge. It is a website where Cancer patients can update their family and friends with what is going on in their treatment. My friend had updated her blog. I read her entry and was in tears. She discussed how she was told she had Stage IV breast cancer and that she didn't know if she was going to see her daughter finish 1st grade (she has a five year old daughter). And it reminded me of when I was told I had breast cancer and how my first thought was about my 26 month old. Was she going to remember me? Who was going to make her lunch, see her to her first day of school, hug her when she has a booboo, hold her the first time a boy breaks her heart, cheer her on in what ever she did, make a big deal out of her graduation, see her walk down the aisle towards her future husband and last but not least, who would hold my grandchild and who would they call grandma? At the time I was diagnosed...I didn't know. I was just almost certain that it wasn't going to be me. So I held my daughter in my arms and cried. I cried for all the moments I would miss with her and whispered, "I am sorry."
But it is twelve years later and I took her to her first day of school and reluctantly left the classroom as she shooed me away. (She said I was embarrassing her.) I have gone to eat lunch with her more times than I can count. I have sat for hours in the heat just waiting for the one 50 yard backstroke that last just a few moments and cheered her on. I was there the first time a boy broke her heart. I was there when she gave her life to Jesus. I am thankful for all these moments.
So with all this going through my mind, I got out of bed and threw on my running clothes and ran out the door. My intention was to just walk 3 miles because I knew I had to get home to drive my daughter to SWAT. So instead of listening to music, I turned on an audiobook and listened to it. But my ADD got the best of me and I just started thinking about everything...the tide (very high because of hurricane Alex) the cool breeze, the spray of rain, my dad, the rabbits...and then I heard my MAPMYRUN say "current pace 13:48" and I looked down at my feet and I was running. Not only was I running but I was running alot faster than I normally run. And I just kept running and running and running and it felt good. My breathing was great, my legs felt great, my shoulders...everything great. It wasn't until I got near my house that I decided to slow down. Because my Nike+ is not working right now, I had to do it on my own and when my MAPMYRUN came back on it said I was running at 16:06. I couldn't believe it. It was still a minute faster than when I try to run my fastest without dying.
So I ended my run at 4 miles and looked up and thanked God for another day and dedicated my run to all those that are fighting for their next one.