I woke up this morning ready to run. I had set my mind to running today. I planned on missing my daughter's swim meet and doing this for me. But my day didn't start out that way. I woke up and spent the first 30 minutes arguing with my family. They don't want to go to the swim meet and I am yelling that they have to go. I finally throw all my running gear down and say, "Nevermind! I will take you because I can't trust you to go on your own!".
Then something just clicked. I said forget it. I am not going to worry about you guys. I need to go run. And I threw on all my gear again.... I have alot of gear...and searched high and low for my water bottle...I still haven't found it...and went for my 6 miler.
I was pissed at my family. I hated that I was carrying this huge water bottle because I couldn't find my running bottle. I was disappointed in my family for not doing the right thing and going to the meet and I was mad at myself for getting caught up in their drama. I was upset that I started out 45 minutes later than I wanted.
But as I started pounding the trails the stress started to leave. I started to think about why I was out there. I was out there because I can be. I started to relive my days in chemo. There were days I couldn't get out of bed. There were days I couldn't eat anything. Heck, during reconstruction I couldn't even turn my head because it hurt too much.
It is the first time that running became a stress reliever. My usual form of relief is sleep or food. I have so much I want to share but I am really tired. I forgot to mention I have not been feeling well and not getting much sleep.
On a high note: I won a drawing on mommaof3ontherun. We met on the weight watchers board and have stayed in touch. I love her blog, it really resonates with me. Check her out. If you look to the right side of my blog, you will see a link.