Sunday, August 11, 2013

Why sometimes quitting isn't really quitting

I have hesitated on writing this post because I didn't know if I should. But I decided if this blog is going to be anything, it is going to be honest. So here it goes....

We lost a few girls this month in the Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge.  I think some may have gone MIA before this month but there was always hope that they would come back or reply to messages sent from Julie about how it is going.  I must say some were a shock because they were either so active on the board or so active in their training.  But when I read their blog posts about why they left, I completely understood and respected their decisions.  What I loved and learned from their reasons was interesting.

One person left because she felt the name of the group was negative and did not send the message that she believed should be sent.  She agreed with the concept of getting everyone to run, including overweight people, but the F word didn't sit well with her.  I really congratulate her for being honest.  Whatever has happened in our past or fear we may have can have an effect on how we perceive a word or an action.  And for all of us, that perception is our reality. She is a strong person and a go getter.  I  watch her twitter feed and Facebook page in awe.  I never would have suspected she second guessed her involvement in the group.  As far as I knew, she agreed with every bit of it, 100%.  But she didn't.

Being the committed person that she is, she remained with the group and participated.  She encouraged us and gave us advice.  All the while, we never knew of her struggle within.  And this project is a daily commitment, so for her to continue each day and participate was a daily struggle.  She sacrificed her own feelings for the group.  I am glad she has decided to say yes to herself and no to anything that does not ring true to her heart.  That's one of the things we are all working towards, right?  We all want to make decisions in our life that at the end of the day we can say to ourselves, "I am proud of my actions today."  And that is what Jen has said "yes" to doing.  At the end of the day she needs to feel good about her actions.  Jen, thank you for spending time with us and sharing with us.  I still have her listed in my  blog roll so that you can continue following her journey. She is now under Blogs that I love.  Please stop by her blog and show her some love.

Another person that shocked me was a person that I watched on my Nike+ activity board.  I didn't see  too many posts from her but I could see her activity on Nike+ and she was running. However, she found the deadlines and the need to give feedback a bit overwhelming.  She has the desire and the capacity to train for runs but this was not the way for her to train.  The  stress of trying to train by someone else's methods was too much.  And it is true, you can't fit a square peg in a round hole.  So, instead of continuing with the group and beating herself up each month because she hadn't completed the challenges or completed them with resentment or strain, she decided to do what is best for her own health and goal and do it her way.

How many times have we tried to do things other people's ways and just felt like a failure because you see it working for them but not us?  It doesn't mean we are failures. It means that this method is not for us.  Someone I follow on Facebook...very healthy, lots of followers, lots of good advice....posted recently that she doesn't do challenges well.  She usually quits in the middle of them and she is okay with that.  She has come to the realization that challenges aren't they way for her to get fit or stay healthy.  She has to set up her own program and do her own thing.  And that is what Sylvia has discovered.  Sylvia's desire to become healthier and fitter and her desire to continue the Fatty Must Run Challenge were not compatible.  So she had to do what was right for her and that was to resign from the challenge and reach her goal in a way that allowed her to be her.  I still have her on my blog roll. She has also been moved from the Fatty Must Run Marathon section and to Blogs I love.

The lesson I learned from both of the gals was that no matter what, at the end of the day, you have to be true to yourself and do what is right for you.

  •  If challenges aren't your thing, then develop your own program or find a program that works for you.  Don't beat yourself up for not being able to do it the way someone else has done it. Find a way that works for you and be successful at it.
  •  Don't be a follower just to be a follower. Be a follower because you believe in the cause. Have your own reasons, don't rely on someone else's.  I heard it said before, "Don't let me talk you into anything, because someone else can talk you out of it."  You have to do it because you believe it in it.  You have to be you because you are the only person that can.
  • I learned that quitting isn't a bad word.  At times it means we are no longer going to spend time on doing something that isn't good for us so that we can spend time doing what is best.

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