Saturday, October 10, 2009

I hear voices in my head

I went for my first run in a week. It rained yesterday and I couldn't bring myself to run on the dreadmill. So I just jumped into running. It rained so hard yesterday that parts of the trail still had huge puddles that you couldn't jump. What a rush to run through the puddles!! I felt like I was in a Nike commercial to "Just Do It".

But I realized tonight, as I was reviewing my run from this morning, I remembered the little voice that I had during the run. You may know him. He is a Debbie Downer...hmm he may actually be a she. But he/she usually shows up about minute three of my runs. And he nudges me on my shoulder and says, "Hey, I want to walk to now." "Can we stop now?" Gosh, he just won't shut up.

So this is what normal run can sound like. I will begin at minute 3 of the run. "Excuse me, I am tired. Can we stop?" I say, "No, not yet, we will stop in about 3 minutes." He seems satisfied for awhile. I start thinking about the song I am listening to or the rabbit that just crossed the path when he nudges me again, "Hey I thought you said we were going to stop." I say, "Oh yeah, I forgot...hmmm...lets go up to the skateboard park and then we'll stop". And when we get to the park he asks me again and so on and so on.

My husband was a runner in his younger days. He mentioned that he constantly wanted to stop but wouldn't. I thought he was just crazy. When my mind use to tell me to stop, I stop. Who knows better than my mind what is good for my body? But now I know what he means. Running is just as much mental as it is physical. There are many times that my mind will try to limit what my body can do. I can't give in to the mind. I have to do what is good for the body.


  1. For many of us, our bodies have been calling the shots for years: "take a nap," "have a cupcake," "watch TV," "engage in self-loathing," "believe you just can't run or exercise." I agree this is a mental battle. It's like breaking a horse. My body doesn't want what I'm trying to do with it, yet, if I can just ignore those voices, I find out that I can do surprisingly more than I ever thought possible.

    This morning was no exception. As we started, running in the snow, my mind flashed back to seeing some other runner in our town who was running during a snowfall. "She's just nuts!" is what I thought at the time. Today I realized that she hadn't been nuts. She was probably out there fighting her own voices, trying to finish her own training program for reasons solely her own.

    That's the only reason why I was out there this morning. I agreed to do this program and I would rather die than just give up on it. Perhaps the only reason why I can approach this with such fervor is because I know that dying was going to be on the agenda sooner rather than later if I did not do something.

    Just keep on pushing through it! I just finished W7D1 of the program today. I ran for 25 minutes, and just six short weeks ago I had problems completing the 90 second runs! Get out there, tell the voices to shut up (yell and scream, if necessary, and not in a residential neighborhood before 7 AM), and keep at it!

  2. That is so funny! All these years I've been stopping when that voice starts in. For now on I'm going to push on and ignore that voice!! Thanks and keep up the great work- you are such an inspiration!!