Fatty Must Run Marathon June recap

I knew it was going to be hard month for me.  What's the saying? "If you think you can, you will. If you think you won't, you're right." ?  Well I think I thought I couldn't. Now if you don't remember what the challenge items were for June, you can see them here.

And if you are new to my blog, first WELCOME! and second you may not be aware of the Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge that I am doing. If you want to know  more about it, go to Fatty Must Run , and Julie will explain it.  She is hosting the challenge.  Over the course of a year she will guide 14 women  through the challenge that will end with a marathon.

Again, I can't believe all the changes in my life.

Eating:    I am more conscious about what I eat.  Things I use to love to eat, sorta gross me out. But I still love chocolate and Ice tea. I am not sure if that will change.  But I am eating so many more vegetables and I have a juicer now. Ok, so it is still boxed up but I plan to use it starting this week.

My running group: Last time I mentioned my running group grew by 14. This month it grew by 20 more?  I joined a running group in Galveston two weeks ago.  I am officially a member of USA Fit Galveston   I also joined a running group.  I am a part of the Beginners Half Marathon training.  My sister is leading the Saturday morning runs for our pace.  I think it prepares us for our first half in October which meets my needs.

Energy   I feel better.  I don't get tired too early. Well I do get sleepy because I am getting up earlier but at the same time, when I am awake, I feel more energized.

Non Scale Victories:   My body is changing.  My calves are getting muscular and feel toned.  My bum is lifting and while the scale isn't moving much, my clothes are fitting better in some cases and in others, well they are just getting too baggy to wear.


So here is how I did with this month's challenges:

1. Run Everyday  Well it is hot in Texas and I couldn't bring myself to get up at 5 AM to run.  I did manage to run FunFest Run the Bay on the 8th and during the second half of the month, I started to run with my sister and just got over myself and got up.  On the days that I didn't run, I continued to do my squats and I did the elliptical.  So I would have the say the first half of the month was rough for me but I am starting to get the hang of it.
2. Eat Clean  Yeah, epic fail.  I didn't even know what clean was much less how to prepare for it.  But I have started to do it and I have found some great recipes that I will share.  My daughter is on board with me on this one.  We eat quite a bit of zucchini, bell pepper with eggs.  We also tried spaghetti squash and we are making healthy smoothies that contain Kale and flax seed.  ( I promise I will either video tape or blog the recipes. )  I cut down on red meat and drink more water. So I am getting there but I still have a long way to go. 
3. Run a timed 5K.  I ran my timed 5K yesterday.  My first one this month was on 6/8 at the FunFest was 49:08. I was 12th for my gender, 90th for my gender and 211 overall.  There were 226 runners and 100 of them were female.  My last timed 5K was 47:48.  Races are harder to come by so I had to time it myself.  So I was first, last and overall number one!  LOL
4. Complete squat challenge  I did finish my challenge but I did skip a few days.  I want to do it again.  I may start again July 1st.  I really loved the way it felt.

Tomorrow I will share our July challenge.  

Stay cool and stay running.

Running group do's and don't

I am always full of fear the first time I do something. And sometimes I get so scared that I do this thing where I start crying which, for whatever reason, turns into laughing.   Running with a running group was no different.          I would love to say that I took every effort to make sure that I was going to be at my best for this first run.  But I didn't.  I stayed out late with a friend and only slept 4 hours before my run.  Which leads me to my do's and don'ts for your first run with a running group.

Don't stay out late the night before you go on your first run with a group of people you know are faster than you.  You need all the rest you can get.  So if a friend asks you to stay out later, just apologize and let them know that you have made a commitment to become a better you and need to get home for some rest.

Do lay out your clothes the night before.  I had to be in Galveston, about 45 minutes away, by 6:15 AM.  That meant that I had to leave at 5:15 if I wanted to give myself some wiggle time.  Having everything together meant all I had to do was brush my teeth, pull my hair back and put on my clothes.  No hunting through my drawers for matching socks or headbands. No running across the house to the laundry room to find my bottoms and then to the living room for my shoes.  Just do it.

Don't leave the address to the running group at home. Thank goodness I had wiggle room because I made it there at exactly 6:15.  I lost time when I had to Google the store and then GPS the location from downtown Galveston.

Do hydrate the night before and the morning of the run.  It was hot out there and you'll see later on why it was so important for me to hydrate well.

Don't take off on a run without knowing the route.  You see I was slower than the rest of the group and within the first few blocks I was alone on the road. I didn't know the route so I spent alot of time GPSing my location and trying to figure out how to get back to the store where we started.  I wasn't frustrated but I was annoyed with having to stop, pull my phone out of the armband, turn off my Nike+ app and go to Maps.  Eventually I made it back to the store but not on the same route as everyone else.

Don't beat yourself up if you get left behind. I have to admit there were a few times on my run that I felt  a lump in my throat and thought I was going to cry.  It wasn't because I was alone...I run by myself all the time.    I felt defeated.  I felt that my inability to stay up with the slowest group just confirmed my inability to be a part of a group.  Bottom line, I just felt less than. And true to form, what started out as a feeling of wanting to tear up and give up became a feeling of just wanting to laugh. But when I shared how I felt to my husband and daughter, my daughter said something profound, "Stop beating yourself up about how far you have to go and start celebrating how far you've come.  Remember the first time you cried because you couldn't run a minute? Well look at you now.  That is what you need to focus on. "  She is 17 and wise beyond her years.

And yes, if you caught that...I have cried before.  I am a llorona (Spanish for cry baby).  I cry for joy and I cry for sadness.  So don't feel sorry for me because I cried.  The physical expression of the emotion that I am feeling seems to get exaggerated in my body and I know it is ridiculous so I start to laugh.

So this week I am taking on the Kemah Bridge.  Fortunately, I live about a mile from the only safe bridge to train for hill work.  I believe it is 1.9 miles over and back.  Wish me luck.

It's me not you

Dear John,

Let me start by saying that I have always loved you.  You have been there since the beginning.  You are known as comforter and used as an reward.   Have a birthday to celebrate?  You'll be there.  Getting married?  You are one of the most important things at the wedding celebration.  Gathering with fellow Christians for a prayer session, committee meeting, retreat, seminar...heck anytime we gather as a congregation, you are there.  End of school year party for the elementary kids?   Teachers are sure to send a note home with little Tommy or Sally reminding us to bring you to school that day. We would die without you....literally we would die with out you.  But your importance for living has become an obsession and people are dying a slow death because of you.  What was meant for good, has somehow turned to bad.  And that is becoming more apparent now than ever in my life.  

Please don't cry.  It's me not you.  I took advantage of you.  I used you and abused you in my times of need.    I was too clingy.  I wanted you to be my everything.  If I was stressed out during the day, I ran to you to comfort me.  If I was celebrating any occasion, I wanted to do it with you.  I wanted you so much that I found reasons to celebrate.  I smothered you and put you on a pedestal.  It is for that reason that I have to distance myself from you.  We will still see eachother and be good friends but I can't let you consume me.  I want us to have a healthy relationship.  

I can't let you be my joy and my sorrow. I hope you understand. I will always care for you and need you but in a different way.  I hope you understand.

Love,

Rozette

When I read this months challenge for the Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge, my heart just sank.  I knew  I would have to have the most difficult conversation with my food.  I had to admit that my emotional attachment to food can be unhealthy.  It's not that I don't like healthy food, that's not the issue.  I love vegetables, fruits, chicken etc but I obsess over chocolate, whip cream, flour tortillas.   Remember that song from the 70's Torn Between Two Lovers?  There is a line in there, "torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool.  Loving both of you is breaking every rule"  Well that is me. I don't mind eating healthy food but I want my bad also. And it isn't a hunger thing, its a "I want ______" thing.  No amount of filling health foods is going to satisfy my desire for chocolate.

So this weekend I went to Penzeys's Spice and picked up Fox Point, an amazing blend of herbs and spices that make everything yummy.

Last night we had chicken with a baby spring salad that consisted of Baby Spring mix of lettuce, celery mandarin oranges, cranberries, strawberries, pecans and a raspberry vinaigrette. 

Next time I will probably leave out the strawberries but may put apples. For lunch, I had more chicken on organic corn tortillas, with beans and lettuce.  I really enjoyed that and can't wait to eat more of that.  

I had cherries and grapes for a snack.  They were meh.  I didn't really satisfy my desire for something sweet but they satisfied my need to chew.  I have to come up with something clean to eat that will help with my sweet tooth.  Any suggestion?

I keep telling myself it is only for 30 days but in reality, I am hoping that this 30 day challenge will give me a new perspective on food.  It's fuel...nothing more, nothing less.  I need to grasp that concept. 

My friend I Want

I have written and rewritten this post several times in the past two days.  But each time I did, well I just wasn't "feelin' it".  But a fellow fluffy runner wrote something the other day that just stuck in my head. He said sometimes he doesn't want to go out and run and his friend told him, "Hey if you are waiting for "I Want" he ain't coming so just get out there and do it."  Wow! That got me thinking about my I Want.  We all  have one.  And I realized my  I Want  can be a pretty flaky friend. Sometimes he shows up everyday no matter what.  The baby kept us up all night with a cough...he doesn't mind.  He reminds us why we are doing this and encourages us to get out of bed.  We have a horrible day at work, boyfriend hurts our feelings, husband doesn't understand, teenager is being difficult...doesn't matter to I Want, he picks us up and takes us for a run.

But I Want isn't dependable.  Sometimes he leaves for the day, the week or even the month with no explanation.  (Truth be known, I think he has another woman).  I can't verify it but sometimes I see them out on the trails running together.  And of course, I get jealous. Why does she have him? She must be special. She must be better than me.  She must have it all together and I am just a loser and that is why I am stuck here with I Want's evil twin I Don't Want.  My mother warned me about guys like I Don't Want.  They are selfish, degrading and never want what is best for you.

Fortunately, I Want has been pretty faithful.  He has been late a few times but by the time I finish my 5 minute warm up, he comes in and runs alongside me.  He never runs ahead.  He sticks by my side cheering me on...yeah that's just the kind of guy that he is.  He's a real playa.  When he is with you, he makes you feel like you are the only one but when he is gone...well he is gone.

So I love I Want and if I had it my way, he would be around for my whole Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge.  But I know he won't be. I know there will be some days that I will be alone on my run.  I know that I Don't Want will  throw sticks at me and run circles around me and mock me.  That's okay.  I am preparing for that day.  I had I Want write me love notes while he was around.  I had him write down why I am going on this journey and why I am worth it.  So every time he goes MIA and I Don't Want shows up, I'll pull out his love notes to me.  I'll read them and run anyway.  Nothing I Don't Want says will deter me because I have these reminders.  And when those don't work, I have 14 women that will remind me of why I am doing this and vice versa.

So if your I Want is around, do me a favor and have him write you some love notes.  If he is MIA, find some fellow runners to share theirs.  You'll be glad you did. And eventually, your I Want will show up again.  He always does.

Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge Update
Our Marathon Challenge has started.  We were given our first assignments.  Sometime this week we are to run 2 miles and report how it felt.  I did this challenge today.  It was H O T!  I am going to have to change up my schedule and start running in the am and blog at lunch.  I am not looking forward to summer training.

Our next challenge is to start the 30 day squat challenge.  I had never heard of it but Julie said to just google it and we will find it.  And I did.  Basically you start out with 50 squats the first day and on day 30 you will do 250.  I have pretty muscular legs and buns under all this fluffy so right now it is pretty easy and I build muscle extremely quickly so I know I will also bulk up this month because of it.  But it is for our benefit. The stronger the legs the easier the run.

The last challenge is to run a timed 5K by May 31st.  This will be our baseline. We can either do an actual 5K event or map out a route ourselves and time it.  I will probably map it out on Mapmyrun and run it.  My first 5k event isn't until June 8th.

If you want to read more about the FattyMustRunMarathonChallenge. Just click the link.  This will tell you what the challenge entails.  If you want to meet all the gals who were picked read this post.  And for all the women that are doing this challenge that have blogs, I have added links to their blogs to the right.

Can I encourage you to visit their blogs, follow and comment?  Sometimes when I Want is MIA, it's nice to know others are there for us.

Confession Time

Ok, it is late Saturday night and I have had a busy day. I was up this morning at 6 am because my daughter had a swim meet today. We didn't get home until 2:30 pm and I took a brief nap. We went to the Strawberry Festival for a few hours and walked around...ok ok... I am stalling.

My motivation to running is that I want to be a runner and I want to run with my daughter but in the back of my mind I am thinking...ya know if I start running miles and miles...I won't feel as guilty for eating the things that I do. I don't know if I am ready to give up the "good" stuff. I know I can. For Lent, I gave up sweets...and I am not even Catholic.

So there it is, if I run more, perhaps I won't have to get hungry.

Something I didn't expect:

I put on a bra that I had at the back of my closet because it was a bit too tight. Well I wore it all day today and it was comfortable. Which I did expect because if I am going to lose weight, I do it on top first, even though I gain it first on my thighs. I think when God told Moses to write down what went down in the garden when they ate the forbidden fruit, He left out part of the curse. ( "Oh and Eve, since you ate the fruit first, you will be the first to gain weight and Adam will lose it faster. And when you do gain weight, you will gain it in your thighs first but you will lose it first in your breasts." Who said God didn't have a sense of humour?