Fatty Must Run Marathon June recap

I knew it was going to be hard month for me.  What's the saying? "If you think you can, you will. If you think you won't, you're right." ?  Well I think I thought I couldn't. Now if you don't remember what the challenge items were for June, you can see them here.

And if you are new to my blog, first WELCOME! and second you may not be aware of the Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge that I am doing. If you want to know  more about it, go to Fatty Must Run , and Julie will explain it.  She is hosting the challenge.  Over the course of a year she will guide 14 women  through the challenge that will end with a marathon.

Again, I can't believe all the changes in my life.

Eating:    I am more conscious about what I eat.  Things I use to love to eat, sorta gross me out. But I still love chocolate and Ice tea. I am not sure if that will change.  But I am eating so many more vegetables and I have a juicer now. Ok, so it is still boxed up but I plan to use it starting this week.

My running group: Last time I mentioned my running group grew by 14. This month it grew by 20 more?  I joined a running group in Galveston two weeks ago.  I am officially a member of USA Fit Galveston   I also joined a running group.  I am a part of the Beginners Half Marathon training.  My sister is leading the Saturday morning runs for our pace.  I think it prepares us for our first half in October which meets my needs.

Energy   I feel better.  I don't get tired too early. Well I do get sleepy because I am getting up earlier but at the same time, when I am awake, I feel more energized.

Non Scale Victories:   My body is changing.  My calves are getting muscular and feel toned.  My bum is lifting and while the scale isn't moving much, my clothes are fitting better in some cases and in others, well they are just getting too baggy to wear.


So here is how I did with this month's challenges:

1. Run Everyday  Well it is hot in Texas and I couldn't bring myself to get up at 5 AM to run.  I did manage to run FunFest Run the Bay on the 8th and during the second half of the month, I started to run with my sister and just got over myself and got up.  On the days that I didn't run, I continued to do my squats and I did the elliptical.  So I would have the say the first half of the month was rough for me but I am starting to get the hang of it.
2. Eat Clean  Yeah, epic fail.  I didn't even know what clean was much less how to prepare for it.  But I have started to do it and I have found some great recipes that I will share.  My daughter is on board with me on this one.  We eat quite a bit of zucchini, bell pepper with eggs.  We also tried spaghetti squash and we are making healthy smoothies that contain Kale and flax seed.  ( I promise I will either video tape or blog the recipes. )  I cut down on red meat and drink more water. So I am getting there but I still have a long way to go. 
3. Run a timed 5K.  I ran my timed 5K yesterday.  My first one this month was on 6/8 at the FunFest was 49:08. I was 12th for my gender, 90th for my gender and 211 overall.  There were 226 runners and 100 of them were female.  My last timed 5K was 47:48.  Races are harder to come by so I had to time it myself.  So I was first, last and overall number one!  LOL
4. Complete squat challenge  I did finish my challenge but I did skip a few days.  I want to do it again.  I may start again July 1st.  I really loved the way it felt.

Tomorrow I will share our July challenge.  

Stay cool and stay running.

Running group do's and don't

I am always full of fear the first time I do something. And sometimes I get so scared that I do this thing where I start crying which, for whatever reason, turns into laughing.   Running with a running group was no different.          I would love to say that I took every effort to make sure that I was going to be at my best for this first run.  But I didn't.  I stayed out late with a friend and only slept 4 hours before my run.  Which leads me to my do's and don'ts for your first run with a running group.

Don't stay out late the night before you go on your first run with a group of people you know are faster than you.  You need all the rest you can get.  So if a friend asks you to stay out later, just apologize and let them know that you have made a commitment to become a better you and need to get home for some rest.

Do lay out your clothes the night before.  I had to be in Galveston, about 45 minutes away, by 6:15 AM.  That meant that I had to leave at 5:15 if I wanted to give myself some wiggle time.  Having everything together meant all I had to do was brush my teeth, pull my hair back and put on my clothes.  No hunting through my drawers for matching socks or headbands. No running across the house to the laundry room to find my bottoms and then to the living room for my shoes.  Just do it.

Don't leave the address to the running group at home. Thank goodness I had wiggle room because I made it there at exactly 6:15.  I lost time when I had to Google the store and then GPS the location from downtown Galveston.

Do hydrate the night before and the morning of the run.  It was hot out there and you'll see later on why it was so important for me to hydrate well.

Don't take off on a run without knowing the route.  You see I was slower than the rest of the group and within the first few blocks I was alone on the road. I didn't know the route so I spent alot of time GPSing my location and trying to figure out how to get back to the store where we started.  I wasn't frustrated but I was annoyed with having to stop, pull my phone out of the armband, turn off my Nike+ app and go to Maps.  Eventually I made it back to the store but not on the same route as everyone else.

Don't beat yourself up if you get left behind. I have to admit there were a few times on my run that I felt  a lump in my throat and thought I was going to cry.  It wasn't because I was alone...I run by myself all the time.    I felt defeated.  I felt that my inability to stay up with the slowest group just confirmed my inability to be a part of a group.  Bottom line, I just felt less than. And true to form, what started out as a feeling of wanting to tear up and give up became a feeling of just wanting to laugh. But when I shared how I felt to my husband and daughter, my daughter said something profound, "Stop beating yourself up about how far you have to go and start celebrating how far you've come.  Remember the first time you cried because you couldn't run a minute? Well look at you now.  That is what you need to focus on. "  She is 17 and wise beyond her years.

And yes, if you caught that...I have cried before.  I am a llorona (Spanish for cry baby).  I cry for joy and I cry for sadness.  So don't feel sorry for me because I cried.  The physical expression of the emotion that I am feeling seems to get exaggerated in my body and I know it is ridiculous so I start to laugh.

So this week I am taking on the Kemah Bridge.  Fortunately, I live about a mile from the only safe bridge to train for hill work.  I believe it is 1.9 miles over and back.  Wish me luck.

Memorize the good

I wish I could say that I always felt like running.  I read these articles and see these posts on other blogs where people just don't feel right until they get their run in for the day.  Yeah, I am not one of those people.  I like programs and I like completing task (I guess that is why I like things like ( C25K and the FattyMustRunMarathonChallenge) but I rarely get the urge to go for a run to clear my head nor do I  feel out of whack because I missed a run.  Sure, I have loathed myself for not meeting my goal of doing something I said I was going to do or missing a day in a program.... but feel mentally off because I didn't run?  Nope, not here and not today.  No today was more of a mental challenge that became more of a mental workout than anything else.  Which I guess I could consider marathon training.  I heard of this wall that people encounter and this wall is mentally challenging.  Now I am not comparing my feelings with this wall...remember I am doing this training one 5K at a time.  So my exercise yesterday was a baby step.

Looking back, I  think I tried to sabotage my run yesterday.  The day before was my daughter's 17th birthday so we stayed up talking late into the night.  So yesterday morning I did not wake up early enough to go for a run.  By the time lunch came, it was too hot. (Seriously, the "feels like" temperature was 99) So I talked myself into waiting until the evening and besides I only had a pair of new fitted running capris clean and I can't wear that with a fitted tech shirt and my large, looks like a potato sack tech shirt was dirty...see the excuses just building? I had convinced myself to delay my run until the evening.

After struggling with my attire, the apps on my phone and seeking encouragement from my fellow FMRMCers, I hit the trails.  I would love to say that 5 minutes into my run, that "I WANT" showed up but he didn't.  Doubt showed up and consumed me.  Why am I out here? I must look ridiculous. This has to be worse than the slow motion video of me on Saturday.  Is that chafing I am feeling under my arms?  I am not going to make it.  Which is worse, running with the traffic on a trail that runs along a busy road or running against traffic on that same trail?  I mean, if I am running with traffic, all drivers and passengers are watching my big butt run...very slowly and awkwardly.  If I run against traffic, people will see the stress I wear on my  face and I will see their reactions to seeing fluffy run.  My thoughts were not pretty or positive.

But somewhere along the trail in the middle of my long run in C25K I found my stride and I don't mean physically.  Just like I had been taught at the running clinic to reset my posture during my run, I decided to do a mental reset. And Ephesians 4:29 came to mind.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."


Now normally when I think of this verse I think of it in reference to how I treat other people and what I either say to them or about them. I try to say things that will build people up and not tear them down. Well, why don't those rules apply to me?  They should.  I wrote about remembering what "I Want" tells you about yourself.  And yet here I am in the middle of the Seabrook park and all I hear is garbage.  So I stopped my run and hit the reset button.  And when I drew a blank on good things to say, I started to quote verses that had helped me in the past...I can do all things through Christ that gives me strength, if He be for me, who dare be against, He gave me the oil of gladness instead of mourning, Ask and you shall receive....etc

And then Bang Bang followed by Bon Bon  played on my playlist and my run felt better.  I think I even held my head higher and sang out loud on a few parts of the song Bon Bon.  All of a sudden new great tapes were playing in my head.  Somewhere during that run I even decided I liked the way I looked and will wear this outfit again...in public.

Now I am not saying go find a Bible and memorize some verses. If that is what you got out of this you are missing the point.  What I am saying is this.  When you decide to write those letters to yourself about why you are doing this and why you deserve this, make sure you store them away in your mind and in your heart. You may be far from home when the need arises to hear them.  For me, the truths I know about myself come from these verses.  They roll off my tongue with little effort and absolutely no thinking. (It was thinking that got me in trouble in the first place.)   You need to be able to do the same thing with whatever you choose.  So practice saying them even when you feel great so that they come out naturally when you don't.
Remember, don't let anything that will tear you down, come out of your mouth or your mind.  Only say and think things that will build you up. 4:29

My friend I Want

I have written and rewritten this post several times in the past two days.  But each time I did, well I just wasn't "feelin' it".  But a fellow fluffy runner wrote something the other day that just stuck in my head. He said sometimes he doesn't want to go out and run and his friend told him, "Hey if you are waiting for "I Want" he ain't coming so just get out there and do it."  Wow! That got me thinking about my I Want.  We all  have one.  And I realized my  I Want  can be a pretty flaky friend. Sometimes he shows up everyday no matter what.  The baby kept us up all night with a cough...he doesn't mind.  He reminds us why we are doing this and encourages us to get out of bed.  We have a horrible day at work, boyfriend hurts our feelings, husband doesn't understand, teenager is being difficult...doesn't matter to I Want, he picks us up and takes us for a run.

But I Want isn't dependable.  Sometimes he leaves for the day, the week or even the month with no explanation.  (Truth be known, I think he has another woman).  I can't verify it but sometimes I see them out on the trails running together.  And of course, I get jealous. Why does she have him? She must be special. She must be better than me.  She must have it all together and I am just a loser and that is why I am stuck here with I Want's evil twin I Don't Want.  My mother warned me about guys like I Don't Want.  They are selfish, degrading and never want what is best for you.

Fortunately, I Want has been pretty faithful.  He has been late a few times but by the time I finish my 5 minute warm up, he comes in and runs alongside me.  He never runs ahead.  He sticks by my side cheering me on...yeah that's just the kind of guy that he is.  He's a real playa.  When he is with you, he makes you feel like you are the only one but when he is gone...well he is gone.

So I love I Want and if I had it my way, he would be around for my whole Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge.  But I know he won't be. I know there will be some days that I will be alone on my run.  I know that I Don't Want will  throw sticks at me and run circles around me and mock me.  That's okay.  I am preparing for that day.  I had I Want write me love notes while he was around.  I had him write down why I am going on this journey and why I am worth it.  So every time he goes MIA and I Don't Want shows up, I'll pull out his love notes to me.  I'll read them and run anyway.  Nothing I Don't Want says will deter me because I have these reminders.  And when those don't work, I have 14 women that will remind me of why I am doing this and vice versa.

So if your I Want is around, do me a favor and have him write you some love notes.  If he is MIA, find some fellow runners to share theirs.  You'll be glad you did. And eventually, your I Want will show up again.  He always does.

Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge Update
Our Marathon Challenge has started.  We were given our first assignments.  Sometime this week we are to run 2 miles and report how it felt.  I did this challenge today.  It was H O T!  I am going to have to change up my schedule and start running in the am and blog at lunch.  I am not looking forward to summer training.

Our next challenge is to start the 30 day squat challenge.  I had never heard of it but Julie said to just google it and we will find it.  And I did.  Basically you start out with 50 squats the first day and on day 30 you will do 250.  I have pretty muscular legs and buns under all this fluffy so right now it is pretty easy and I build muscle extremely quickly so I know I will also bulk up this month because of it.  But it is for our benefit. The stronger the legs the easier the run.

The last challenge is to run a timed 5K by May 31st.  This will be our baseline. We can either do an actual 5K event or map out a route ourselves and time it.  I will probably map it out on Mapmyrun and run it.  My first 5k event isn't until June 8th.

If you want to read more about the FattyMustRunMarathonChallenge. Just click the link.  This will tell you what the challenge entails.  If you want to meet all the gals who were picked read this post.  And for all the women that are doing this challenge that have blogs, I have added links to their blogs to the right.

Can I encourage you to visit their blogs, follow and comment?  Sometimes when I Want is MIA, it's nice to know others are there for us.

W2D3

What a roller coaster ride. I probably went through every emotion possible on today's run.
Happy: My husband came with me on my run/walk. He was very active in his younger days. Cross country, track, swimming...he even did a Triathlon Sprint when he was 40. That was ten years ago and he smokes. So I was glad to see him walk with me.

Thirsty: Dab nabbit if I didn't bring a bottle of water. Thank goodness it was only 85 degrees outside. Well, thirsty is not an emotion. But it overwhelmed my thoughts. "Is my throat closing up? Can you die from lack of water? Am I going to die of lack of water? Let me try gulping. I can't. Is that a sign of dying?"

Disappointed: I felt like my running intervals were slow and on my 5th and 6th one I was so tuckered out that I quit about 5-10 seconds earlier than I should have.

More disappointment: I heard my husband's voice in my head telling me I need to go faster, pick up my legs higher...come on. Now he wasn't saying this in real life. This was me and what I really felt about myself, and well I just put the blame on him. But I realized it and tried to focus on the run and how this Fluffy gal is doing it. (I had this moment in my 3rd run interval).

Crying/Shattered: I pooped out on my last run and I couldn't catch my breath. My legs hurt and I was far from home. Embarrassed because I just noticed this guy sitting in this truck, eating his lunch and he probably saw me die on my last interval and probably thought I was going to fall over from exhaustion because I was breathing so hard.

Tired: I just wanted to make it home (5 minutes away). Just let Robert Ullrey tell me it was over so that I can just quit.

As I walked through the neighborhood, I began to get my strength back. Robert had said good-bye and Brittney was playing. I felt enough energy to walk fast through the neighborhood. I was going at a good pace and I was trying to make up for pooping out before. I round the corner to my street and the Navy Hurrah starts up in a marching song and I feel it and I do it and I feel good.

Pride: As I click the center button of my Nano I hear Tiger Woods, "Congratulations, you just recorded your best mile ever." Who knew? In the midst of me feeling like a failure I exceeded my own expectations.

Never quit and don't listen to the lies we can often tell ourselves. You can do this. I can do this. Fluffy can do this.

My Stats:
Distance: 3.23 km
Duration: 36'18"
Pace: 11'13"/km
Calories: 342.0
Average Heart Rate: Unknown (HRM broken)